There is a terrible plague racing across this land, my friends. A plague born upon the leafy wings of mustard greens soars overhead, dropping bombs full of bean curd and cabbage. The enemy wants nothing more than to make you feel guilty for eating the flesh of the inferior. They want to question the wisdom of eating things that contain such wonderful things like fat and salt. You alone, wearing your bacon t-shirt, can stand to this menace.
I know for a fact that something had to die for me to eat the steak I'm going to have for dinner tonight. I try not to think about the pain of some living thing and just enjoy my darn steak. These veggie-nuts are relentless, though. They want to show me videos of slaughterhouses and other unpleasantries. I don't want to sound like a jerk, but that one cow fed dozens of families. I'm sorry it had to die, but maybe it might want to think about developing some higher brain functions instead of 4 stomachs the next evolutionary leap.
We are the kings of this planet. No other species can begin to compare to what we've accomplished and done through our short history. It was always this way. We had to fight our way to the top. There were some pretty terrible things outside of our caves with huge teeth that wanted to make us into their dinner. It is only fair and right that we can make a dinner out of anything we choose. I'll eat lion if it tastes good just to say that I had.
It doesn't help much that every celebrity you've ever wanted to see in the nude has gotten all riled up about animals being killed for food. Have you seen some of these ads? It's worse than a beer commercial. They use half-naked ladies to make us think that there is a slim chance they'll want to spend some time with you if you just stopped eating bacon. These are all lies! Those women would hate you whether you just ate a BLT or a salad!
We have to support our meat-eating rights just as ardently as they support vegetarianism. We have to advertise our passion for pork in any way we can, and it starts with a bacon t-shirt. If you're wearing your bacon pride on your chest like a badge, the vegetarians will cower away like a slug from the sunshine. The time for bacon activism has finally arrived.
I know for a fact that something had to die for me to eat the steak I'm going to have for dinner tonight. I try not to think about the pain of some living thing and just enjoy my darn steak. These veggie-nuts are relentless, though. They want to show me videos of slaughterhouses and other unpleasantries. I don't want to sound like a jerk, but that one cow fed dozens of families. I'm sorry it had to die, but maybe it might want to think about developing some higher brain functions instead of 4 stomachs the next evolutionary leap.
We are the kings of this planet. No other species can begin to compare to what we've accomplished and done through our short history. It was always this way. We had to fight our way to the top. There were some pretty terrible things outside of our caves with huge teeth that wanted to make us into their dinner. It is only fair and right that we can make a dinner out of anything we choose. I'll eat lion if it tastes good just to say that I had.
It doesn't help much that every celebrity you've ever wanted to see in the nude has gotten all riled up about animals being killed for food. Have you seen some of these ads? It's worse than a beer commercial. They use half-naked ladies to make us think that there is a slim chance they'll want to spend some time with you if you just stopped eating bacon. These are all lies! Those women would hate you whether you just ate a BLT or a salad!
We have to support our meat-eating rights just as ardently as they support vegetarianism. We have to advertise our passion for pork in any way we can, and it starts with a bacon t-shirt. If you're wearing your bacon pride on your chest like a badge, the vegetarians will cower away like a slug from the sunshine. The time for bacon activism has finally arrived.
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